There’s no better time than Christmas for gathering up friends and family for a top knees up. Forget hiring a venue — it’ll cost a bomb and everywhere gets booked up. Better to have it at home.

As far as decorations go, you must have a proper Christmas tree. Cover it in colourful lights, baubles and tinsel — and don’t forget to stick a fairy on top.

Lights blinking on and off in your front garden will provide a warm welcome to your guests. Spray fake snow on the windows to give the place a wintry vibe.

Inside, transform the walls with paper decorations and tinsel. And remember that the British like to hide their emotions behind a firm handshake, so mistletoe is the perfect festive icebreaker. Get that kissing going.

Christmas is all about red and green. It’s imperative that somebody dresses up as Santa. Usually a merry uncle can be relied upon to offer his services in this department. Ideally he should have an enormous stomach and a fluffy white beard. If not, then a couple of pillows and some white cotton wool should do the trick.

The rest of your guests should also come in festive dress. Santa hats are a must for the boys. Girls might opt for a rather fancy elf costume, thus transforming themselves perfectly into Santa’s little helpers.

Those who like to go that extra mile might consider getting costumed up as one of the wise men, a shepherd or even the very Messiah himself. Anyone arriving with a sprig of mistletoe attached to their belt should be shown the door immediately.

Organise a secret Santa. Everybody spends £5 on a truly terrible gift, which is then wrapped in Christmas paper. The gifts are then placed in a sack and are later dispersed to your guests by Santa himself. Imagine her joy as granny unwraps a novelty festive thong.

Games are a must. Pick two teams who have to pass balloons down the line. This is a race against the clock, made more difficult as the balloons must be passed between each person's knees. Oranges under the chin is the extreme version of this classic.

Other festive wheezes come in the shape of charades and the Victorian favourite, sardines — a chance to really get to know someone in a cupboard.

Music is essential. Carol singing — though not strictly forbidden — rarely works as well as a rousing Christmas disco.

Festive Venison Kebabs

• 2 chopped onions
• 1 cup olive oil
• 1 cup port
• 1 cup orange juice
• 1 cup crushed juniper berries
• Cut up 1 inch chunks of venison

Mix the onion, olive oil, port, orange juice and juniper berries in a bowl. Add venison and coat thoroughly. Marinate for several hours.

Preheat grill pan to hot. Using metal skewers pierce venison chunks and place loaded skewers on the pan. Cook for 5 minutes each side or until juices run clean. Fantastic!

As well as plenty of champagne and sparkling wine, serve mulled wine. Designated drivers can be served hot non-alcoholic punch. Mulled Wine • 300ml water • 100g brown sugar • 4 cloves • 1 cinnamon stick • 1 bottle red wine • 1 lemon, sliced • 1 orange, sliced Add the water, sugar and spices to a pan and bring to the boil. Remove from the heat and allow pan to stand for 15 minutes. Add the wine and heat gently without boiling. Strain mixture into a heated bowl. Add the lemon and orange slices and serve hot.

1.	Fairytale Of New York / The Pogues and Kirsty MacColl
2.	Last Christmas / George Michael
3.	Merry Xmas Everybody / Slade
4.	I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday / Wizzard
5.	Mistletoe And Wine / Cliff Richard
6.	Stay Another Day / East 17
7.	White Christmas / Bing Crosby
8.	Do They Know It’s Christmas / Band Aid
9.	Jingle Bell Rock / Bobby Helms
10.	Merry Christmas Everyone / Shakin' Stevens

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