The Eurovision Song Contest is never about good taste. High camp and mild xenophobia are the themes of the day. Everything must be cheesy and even a glimpse of cool at your party will score you 'nil points.' And anybody who takes the contest seriously must be asked to leave immediately in a heavy German accent.

The television must take centre stage in a large room. If possible it should be wired directly into your stereo system to allow the best quality of sound for the Europop joys ahead. Position an adequate supply of chairs for your guests into a wide semi circle to allow one and all a good view.

To create the perfect atmosphere, why not decorate the room with the national flags of each competing country. Colourful balloons and flowers will add the desired tone of high camp.

Each guest should be required to attend wearing the full national dress of one of the competing nations. As everyone knows, a Frenchman feels comfortable wearing a beret and a necklace of onions, Germans aspire to a dashing pair of lederhosen, Italians wear skimpy Speedos and Andorrans wear skis.

Europe's recent expansion means that there’s room for everyone to represent a different country, although anyone choosing to dress as Macedonia or Latvia is going to have to do some serious research. You might consider awarding prizes for the very best costumes.

All clothing should be comfortable so that impromptu dance offs can take place. As the contest is always a festival of big hair it would be wise to have a supply of spare wigs hidden behind the sofa in case anyone fails to enter the spirit.

Hold a sweepstakes with your guests on which country will win the finals. Or try taking bets on how many countries will fail to score.

To celebrate the diversity of Eurovision, have your guests take part in a European accents competition where prizes are awarded for the best and the worst. Or have a Eurovision quiz with a series of questions on classic songs and who murdered them and even a picture round to guess the artists and their country of birth.

While the show is on, you and your guests can become an unofficial panel of judges. Remember that they have to award points in the traditional manner — the music is irrelevant; it's all about the politics.

After the contest is over you can have your own disco playing all the timeless Eurovision classics of the past. All four of them.

Eurovision Food Rule Number 1 must apply — nothing too greasy or sticky as many of the costumes will be on hire.

As luck would have it European cuisine is wonderfully varied. Encourage your guests to bring along national dishes such as Spanish chorizo sausage, French foie gras and German sauerkraut. If you're being cheap, you can even serve crisps made from Irish potatoes.

Ask your guests to refrain from recreating World War II with an all out European food fight as this can wreck your carpet.

This is an easy one. As each country performs the perfect accompaniment would be a round of their national tipple. For Spain it might be sangria, for Poland pour the vodka and for Ireland just reach for the whiskey. You'll probably be able to find a close approximation of Balkan schnapps somewhere in your garage. For a non-acloholic alternative, soda water is the perfect Eurovision drink – full of fizz but completely lacking in taste.

1.	Bucks Fizz / Making Your Mind Up
2.	Abba / Waterloo
3.	Brotherhood of Man / Save Your Kisses for Me
4.	Cliff Richard / Congratulations
5.	Sandie Shaw / Puppet on a String
6.	Lulu / Boom-Bang-a-Bang
7.	Lordi / Hard Rock Hallelujah
8.	Dana International / Diva
9.	Johnny Logan / What’s Another Year
10.	Celine Dion / Ne Partez Pas Sans Moi

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