Guy Fawkes night is mainly about events in the back garden, but it’s likely to be pretty cold, so you’ll need to clear out a fair bit of your house as well. If people are going to be trudging in and out, maybe cover the floor to stop them trampling mud into your carpets.
Set up your fireworks display very carefully. Clearly mark out a safe area for your guests to stand and make sure that you carefully follow the instructions for fixing up your fireworks.
If you’re feeling ambitious, set up your hi-fi so that the speakers reach outdoors, then cue up some suitable music to accompany your high-octane barrage. If you’re feeling particularly traditional, make a guy out of balloons, cardboard, old clothes and plenty of sticky tape.
The most important thing to remember is that you’re likely to be outside, with a high chance of it being cold or rainy, or probably both – this is Britain after all. That lovely little cocktail dress and the elegant sling-backs might look lovely in the lounge, but they won’t seem quite so appealing when you’re standing around in freezing drizzle.
Make sure that your guests turn up warmly dressed, and maybe dig out a couple of spare jumpers from your wardrobe just in case anybody turns up unprepared. If you have children waving sparklers around, make sure they have gloves on to prevent any ugly mishaps.
Sparklers are essential. And once you have one lit it’s pretty much the law that you have to try spelling out your name with it. Remember that you’ll be expected to waste a large part of your sparkler by letting other people light theirs off it. Don’t get angry – far too much of a fire risk.
Chuck the guy on the fire and contemplate for a second just how socially unacceptable it would be on any other night to be outdoors burning effigies of political prisoners. Then just kick back and watch those flames leap up.
The fireworks display should be the main focus of the night. Make the usual ooohs and aaahs at the appropriate points.
With the smell of sulphur still lingering in your nostrils, head inside for a good, fiery disco.
The emphasis should be on good, solid, warming food – baked spuds, hot soup, sausages and mustard. If you get a good fire going, why not use it for cooking?
When the fire starts to fade, wrap some potatoes in foil and place them in the embers. You can do the same with a banana, sliced in half lengthways and stuffed with chocolate.
If you’re feeling ambitious, buy a whole salmon, stuff its belly with fresh herbs, wrap the fish in newspaper tied with string, then dunk the package in water until it has soaked through. Place in the embers until the fish is cooked through.
Drinks should be rich and warming, like this big, spicy punch. Also, serve up some dark winter ales, Scotch whiskey, port and brandy (but not all in the same glass). For a non-alcoholic treat, brew up some thick, creamy hot chocolate.
Bonfire Punch
• 2 bottles of red wine
• ½ a bottle of brandy
• A dash of lime juice
• ½ a nutmeg, grated
• A teaspoon of cloves
Mix ingredients into a highball glass. Add ice and garnish with a slice of lime and a swizzle stick. |
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| 1. | 1812 Overture / Tchaikovsky |
| 2. | Pomp and Circumstance / Elgar |
| 3. | Firestarter / Prodigy |
| 4. | Fire / Arthur Brown |
| 5. | Rocket Man / Elton John
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| 6. | My Guy / The Supremes |
| 7. | Relight My Fire / Take That |
| 8. | Burning Down the House / Talking Heads |
| 9. | Great Balls of Fire / Jerry Lee Lewis |
| 10. | Ring of Fire / Johnny Cash |
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